TopTen Zombie Behaviors, Doomsday, Judgment Day….. and The Zombie Apocalypse !

Looks like it’s the doomsday season, again! Signs and newspaper ads across the U.S. and in other places around the world have been warning that the judgment day is coming. So what can we expect tomorrow May 21, 2011?

One version is a zombie apocalypse, a widespread rise of zombies hostile to human life that engages in a general assault on civilization. In this version activated parasites turn victims into mindless, zombie-like slaves. There’s one parasite called toxoplasmosa gondii, which is fairly common in nature that seems to devote its entire existence to being terrifying.  It appears that half the human population on Earth is infected with toxoplasmosa, and don’t know it.  Studies and shown that the infected see a dramatic change in their personality once the parasite is activated by The Zombie Apocalypse or Z-Day.



There's a sale at Best Buy!

On May 18, 2011, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention published an article instructing the public on what to do to prepare for a zombie invasion. While the article did not claim that such a scenario was likely, it did use the popular culture appeal as a means of having individuals prepare for all potential hazards, such as earthquakes, tornadoes, and floods.

One interesting aspect of Z-Day or Judgment Day or whatever you wish to call it,  is that nature tends to even things out in its natural selection process. When the parasite becomes activated in zombies it reinforces the dominant pattern of behavior in a person consigning that individual to their specific behavior pattern for the rest of time.  With that in mind, we thought we’d identify our choices for the TopTen Zombie Behaviors

10. Nancy Pelosi


Nancy Pelosi

Sure, I can give you a waiver....(image courtesy

Nancy will be required to give Obama Care waivers personally to every business in the United States on a one by one basis.


9. Arnold Schwarzenegger


arnolds maid

Are you my Terminator?

Arnold will only be able to become sexually aroused when in the presence of middle aged, overweight Latino women who are domestic workers.


8. Dominique Stauss-Kahn


maid man

Housekeeping! Can I turn your bed down?

Dominique will become part of the housekeeping staff of the New York City Sofitel Hotel, wear a maid’s outfit and will be assigned to clean all suites occupied by large West African Men.


7.George Soros



Are these people stupid or what?

George will be forced to read and respond in detail to all comments posted on his Think Progress web site.


6.Sarah Palin



Boy! Moscow is a lot farther than I thought

Sarah will be provided with a compass and survival gear and will need to go on foot from her residence in Alaska and find Moscow accompanied only by a Grizzly bear.


5. Al Qaeda



J is for JIHAD......

The entire leadership of  Al Qaeda will be turned into muppets and made to perform continuous showings of Sesame Street on a 24/7 basis with the word of the day being JIHAD.


4. Donald Trump


trump and sheen

Hmmmm....maybe the "Rehab Apprentice"

The Donald will expand his “Apprentice” franchise so that it encompasses all facets of American life such as: “The New Jersey Waste Management Apprentice,” “The Postal Service Apprentice” “The Junkyard Apprentice” and “The How to Run a Political Campaign Apprentice.” The executive producer will be Gary Busey.


3. Michael Moore


michael moore

What about Boise?

Michael Moore will launch a series of reality documentaries titled “The Real Husbands of Flint Michigan” these will quickly be followed by brand extensions for other economically distressed areas such as Dayton, Peoria and El Paso.


2. Mark Zuckerberg



How can we screw Linked In?

In a final settlement with the Winkelvoss twins, Mark will be awarded Google and the twins will take over Facebook. They will then get into a contest over which company can extract the most sensitive personal information from its members.


1. President Barack Obama


obama tel

Speak up many rows down?

President Obama will have his teleprompter taken away forever. It will be replaced by a tiny miniature Joe Biden who will stand on his podium and verbally give the President his cues during speeches.


and that’s the way it is here:  “a little left of right”


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