DNC Empties Geriatric Wards To Line up “Forward Thinking” Speakers

Ever since the Republican Convention ended President Obama has been on a continuous attack painting the Romney /Ryan ticket as presenting out of touch ideas mired in the last century.  “Despite all the challenges that we face in this new century, what they offered over those three days was an agenda that was better suited for the last century. It was a rerun. It could have been on Nick at Nite,” Obama said.

So to better make that point, The DNC has prepared a formidable list of speakers who will demonstrate to the country what a forward thinking agenda the President and the Democratic Party are preparing to launch during his second term.

With “FORWARD” as the campaign slogan let’s take a look at this planned list of distinguished and “in touch” convention speakers.

President Jimmy Carter (87): Another sanctimonious “citizen of the world” and until now the worst president in United States history, will give us a lesson on the economic malaise of the late 1970’s and why the current situation isn’t as bad.

Barack & Jimmy 2

You and me against the world…..

President William Jefferson Clinton (66):  Who at one point told Senator Edward Kennedy that Barack Obama  “couldn’t even carry his bags” –will give the President some Clintonian advice on how to recreate the economic  boom of 20 years ago.

clinton obama

Forget Hope and change Barack…just get yourself a great White House intern!

Vice President Joe Biden (69): Will now be forced to explain in detail why we are better off than we were four years ago. During a speech this past week-end, in Detroit, Biden affirmatively answered this question but said it was too hot for him to get into details. Does anyone wonder whether this man should ever be left alone no less be the Vice President of the United States?

joe_biden[3]

Yes….I can name a dozen reasons why were better off!

Senator Harry Reid (72): Will bring his secret source from Bain Capital and try to convince the 23 million unemployed in this country that the solution to the economy lies in the release of Mitt Romney’s tax returns. Following his speech he and Joe Bidenwill hold hands and be escorted back to the Happy Valley Retirement Community.

harry reid taxes

People that don’t pay taxes can become Secretary of the Treasury but certainly not President

Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi (72): Has been given a four hour prime time slot to explain what is contained in the Affordable Care Act.  She had promised to reveal what was in the legislation after it was passed and it has taken her until now to read it. This will be a must watch moment.

Pelosi

Take good notes because I’m not sure I understand it either

So far “Nick at Nite” is alive and well. But wait! We left out two key speakers who are actually under the age of 65:

Eva Langoria:  As it turns out the beautiful actress (conveniently Latino) is also an economic scholar and has joined together with other Hollywood glitterati to come up with a job creation plan. Rumor has it that Ms. Langoria will announce that the major studios plan to hire (in alphabetical order) all unemployed US citizens as extras in upcoming productions during the President’s next term.

langoria and obama

A desperate housewife meets a desperate President

Sandra Fluke: Will describe the trials and tribulations she suffered as a student at Georgetown University because she had to bear the cost of birth control pills which severely depleted her finances.  She will also describe her  well deserved vacation in Tuscany to recover from this nightmare.

fluke demands

 

Let’s not forget:

With 62 days left until Barack The Pretender gets voted out of office

US National Debt stands at: $16 trillion

Unemployment stands at: 15.2 million people

The price of gas is: $3.84 for a gallon of Regular

And that’s the way it is here: a little left of right

JT

test 1

President Obama! You kept the car keys for four years—why is it still in the ditch?

A favorite speech line of the Presidents’ during the 2008 Presidential  and 2010 Congressional  campaigns was asking people why they would return car keys to an administration that ran the vehicle off the road and into a ditch.  It always  got uproarious laughs and shouts of agreement from the audience.

Well guess what? Four years later the car is still in the ditch except it’s also been stripped. No tires, no doors, no dash , no electronics and no steering wheel.  Pretty much representative of the state of our economy.

car in ditch

Wow 16 trillion in debt didn’t get us much !

Does the President still want to take credit for the keys?  Hardly. Turns out he doesn’t even know how to drive.  After spending several trillion dollars trying to get it towed he’s decided to sell off the working parts for salvage and distribute the proceeds among everyone.

In his next term he will spend a few more trillion to pull the car out, fill in the ditch and drive the car the socialist way . Horse power with no pollution.  Just like Greece!

Obama Motors

Obama Motors…built in the USA

Let’s not forget:

With 67 days left until Barack The Pretender gets voted out of office

US National Debt stands at: $15.9 trillion

Unemployment stands at: 15.2 million people

The price of gas is: $3.83 for a gallon of Regular

And that’s the way it is here: a little left of right

JT

test2

Joe Biden Attends The Wrong Convention…..Party Has Him Wear Lampshade Around His Neck So He Doesn’t Hurt Himself!

Good Old Joe Biden! Wouldn’t you know it; the man made plans to attend the Republican National Convention in Tampa thinking it was the Democratic Party gathering. It’s hard to tell whether Joe simply was confused between Florida and North Carolina since all southern states seem to appear the same to him. Or, it might have been that he thought the Democratic Convention came first. After all they were first four years ago.

Biden confused

I’m sure there’s a convention in Tampa…or some southern city

Rather than try to explain away this latest gaffe, the Democratic Party leadership spun it to say they  were sending Joe to Tampa to hold a party rally during the Republican Convention—something never done before—as a sort of disruptive presence.

Does anyone believe this?  Joe, who can barely find his way to a bus stop these days– sent as a gate crasher to the Republican Convention? President Obama reluctantly agreed to let this play out provided Joe wears a lampshade around his neck so he doesn’t bite his foot off.  After all, we can’t let the man next in line for the Presidency be running around Tampa untethered.

biden lampshade

Ok…I’ll wear it but its hard for me to say anything

It will be interesting to note how the Liberal Media handles this story. Suffice it to say Joe is delighted to take a break from his duties as Litter Patrol Supervisor for the White House lawn. Let’s just hope for the President’s sake that he doesn’t try to accept the Vice Presidential nomination as Mitt Romney’s running mate.. ….Or maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad thing from the Obama Campaign’s point of view.

Biden white house duties

I’m almost done here Valerie! I’ll do the south lawn next.

Let’s not forget:

With 75 days left until Barack The Pretender gets voted out of office

US National Debt stands at: $15.9 trillion

Unemployment stands at: 15.2 million people

The price of gas is: $3.72 for a gallon of Regular

And that’s the way it is here: a little left of right

JT